She has been aware of my predilections, in a general sense, for some time. But she recently discovered my femslut21 email account. Which naturally required some explanation.
Obviously saying "No honey. I'm not using it to cheat / engage in cyber-sex / etc. I need it for my blog where I paste together images from porn sites with little text stories about men being feminized against their will." seems like a hard sell, but here it is.
I am extraordinarily lucky to have an open-minded and understanding wife but obviously this stretches anyone's understanding. One can't help but have concerns like: Is my husband gay? Does he want to become a woman?
So as not to offend anyone I want to clarify that others, with other sexual and gender identities, will answer those questions differently, and that is great; we need lots of diversity in the world. But my answers have always been no and no. I struggled with them when I was younger but ultimately came to a conclusion similar to the one posted prominently on the Joe Six Pack TG Site.
"So you get a little turned on when you think about switching genders? So what!? Everybody's got some sort of freakishly bizarre thrill they never talk about. That's no reason to get all weirded out over this stuff."I know that non-answer doesn't really satisfy some people. But I can only sit and endlessly ponder what this sexual/masturbatory activity that I occasionally engage in means for so long. Eventually I come to the conclusion that it doesn't affect 99% of my life so it must not mater too much.
"Have a little bit of fun. Enjoy yourself. Do whatever you need to do and then get on with your life."
Some links to other sources that might help with understanding are probably in order at this point:
- The distinction between transsexualism and autogynephelia may be useful (the first person to comment with a Trans-Studies lecture on the evils of Blanchard's Transsexualism Taxonomy gets moderated into oblivion).
- I think this presentation by Ogi Ogas concerning so called erotical illusions is relevant
You know, I never really thought about it that way, but I'd agree with you. That is what makes the most sense. I've tried some real life stuff. But other then the erotic feeling of stockings, it does nothing for me. But the fantasy... oh the fantasy. Good eye opener!
ReplyDeleteIt is a tricky and personal issue. I know some people really would like to live the TG dream.
DeleteHey, FemSlut! I am sorry that I did not see this post earlier, but if I had it would not have mattered much, I think. And as it is nearly two months since, I'll be somewhat surprised should you post any reply to the following ramble.
ReplyDeleteFirstly, my congratulations & 'covetations' at your having found a wife who is, at least to some degree, more accepting/understanding/tolerant of the simple fact that some people -even their loved ones- may harbor more rarefied proclivities &/or fantasies than what some 'mainstream perception' of 'normal' would tend to allow! Sincerely, you are 'blessed' in this relationship (assuming that it has not reached some dire conclusion since your posting this revelation -and I qualify the word 'blessed' as to not offend your personal faith/conscience as I know not your leanings in this regard-), and having one who would accept this aspect of the person she married is something I might say is enviable by we whose domestic situation is not such.
Secondly: If nothing else, at least for a time, you have shared of yourself with those who appreciate that which you have shared! And come what may, trust in that the expression from within your self has provided delightful entertainment to others and will hopefully strengthen you through having engaged with those of like/similar mind/spirit.
As I have not viewed the items you linked prior to posting my say you can rest assured that this 'psuche-babble' is surely without basis or justification outside of my own mind.
Whether one be simply feeding some fantastical fascination by reading fictions of a transgender nature, or seeking to realize their own longing by some graphically vicarious means, or, like myself, reflecting on the 'what-might-have-been-if' aspect of reaching the certainty that this life will never permit the experiences of being the one they were not;
Lyrics from the favorite group of my youth tend to repeat in the grey corners of my roughly hemispherical mind. The words from Niel Pert convey, I think -having never read his works myself- Hemingway, but what relevance it has here I am not sure, merely that I feel moved now to share:
"Some are born to move the world, to live their fantasy.
But most of us just dream about the things we'd like to be.
Sadder still to watch it die than never to have known it.
For you, the blind who once could see, the bell tolls for thee."
[RUSH; 'Loosing It' from "Signals" c. 1982]
Be well! Be blessed! Be at peace! Be both loved & loving, my friend! I thank you for the words & thoughts we have exchanged, and bid you & yours the best of what is yet to come!!!
Peace,Love&Kisses;
Elle
Hey Elle. Thanks for your kind words. I'm not particularly religious, but I'm certainly not offended by "blessed". It is appropriate since my wife is indeed wonderful.
DeleteNo need to fear. There have been no dire consequences or anything like that.
I am taking a partial hiatus at the moment. I say "partial" because the curated captions tumblr should still be running, I will be checking messages periodically, and those kinds of things.
I am having some difficulty composing new captions at the moment. I feel a little self-conscious knowing that someone I know and love will be reading them. I have used a lot of darker themes in my captions in the past. Now I wonder if they are necessary or appropriate. It makes me look at my work in a different way. Maybe something new and different will come out of it. Maybe I won't caption again for a long while. I'm not sure. Stay tuned.